Mrs. Bunberry

"The cabinet fell to the floor and burst apart, glass flying everywhere, then sprang up onto the wall, fully mended, then down again, and shattered....[it] continued to fall, shatter, and repair itself on the wall behind them."

– J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix. (p790-794) 

Pre-wedding jitters, cold feet, butterflies: all of these are nice ways of describing the nervous breakdowns that are part of the most exciting times of our lives. Every rose has its thorns, and every event has it angst, and I am in the throes of mine. The image of glass shattering over and over, but never truly breaking for good, sums up the conditions of my insides pretty well. Only the thing that keeps bringing the pieces all together is not some deep magic, nor is it my DLV (dry little voice), the one that keeps telling me I'm being over dramatic. No, its something completely different, and as irritating in its confidence as the raw nerves themselves. Its the thin, yet diamond strong, safety line of faith that has been wrapped around my heart. It keeps sending me little encouraging message such as "the battle belongs to the Lord," and "if God is with us who can be against us?" But, strangely enough, the idea I find most reassuring is that God surely knows what He is doing, right down to the effect it is having on my peace. Even just writing it I can feel myself relax. Well, sort of, I just remembered that I'm still not done packing. I feel another panic attack coming on, but this time I'll try to weather it out. Maybe I'll even listen to my DLV and wear a smile instead of a raincoat.